Q. I am at a total loss. My mate of 37 years doesn’t seem to belong in this era. I am recently physically disabled and don’t seem to be adapting well. I feel that I am also spiritually disabled. Am I wrong to feel this way and what can I do to bring my mate along? I feel that he is trapped by his religious beliefs and I try not to upset him, but it is like all communications between us just aren’t happening. What can I do? How should I do it? I feel that I have to do something but I don’t know what to do.
A. Beloved child, you seem to be so confused about what is the right thing to do and always wonder how you can continue to please other people. Others are not going to understand or agree with what you believe to be true. This is part of human nature.
You are all unique individuals with unique experiences and unique contracts for what you have chosen to do in this lifetime. Many of you struggle with the need to have other people see the world in the way that you do. But this need not be so. The way to resolve this difference with others is to allow others to have their own beliefs even if they vary greatly from your own.
And on the topic of relationships. Many of you are finding that your relationships no longer fit the way that they did in the past. Some of you are growing and changing so quickly that a relationship that fit before may not fit now. You have two choices. You leave the relationship and go your own way, which many have chosen to do. Or, you stay in the relationship and learn to live your life as you let the other live their own life. You focus on what is good about being together and accept that there are always going to be differences and that is just the way it is meant to be.
As far as spiritual growth, each individual is on their own unique journey and there is nothing one can do to effectively hurry another along. We cannot and must not attempt to control other people in this way. It’s usually done out of survival so to speak, if you want the relationship to survive, then the other person better be like me because if we are too different it will not work. But that is not truth, for some of the best relationships involve two people who are on unique spiritual journeys. They even speak a different language or do not speak at all about their beliefs and still they honour and accept each other’s personal journeys. This is how it is meant to be.
I want to leave you with a final thought. Perhaps the real issue lies within you. Look within yourself and look at the relationship that you have with the part of you that reflects the other in your relationship. Most often, the reaction to something outside of yourself is really a reaction to something inside of yourself. When you heal the relationship within, your outer relationships change and always for the better.
Mary, your divine mother