I grew up going to a very traditional Baptist church and learned that religion was a very serious business. I also learned a lot of things that damaged me and left me not wanting anything to do with God or Jesus. I learned about a God who condemned people to hell and a Jesus who was the only person and path that could open the doors of heaven for me, but only if I did all of the right things. I’ve been on a healing journey for many years and am now healing the final level of my being – my spiritual self.
This started to get kind of complicated when I started to hear Jesus speaking in my mind. I could not even use the name Jesus and referred to him as Sananda, another name that is used to identify this being. I really questioned my sanity, thought I was being arrogant having this relationship and was scared that he would tell me that I was indeed a sinner beyond redemption and that he was sorry, but he could not help me.
This never happened of course. I have been building a relationship with this lovely spiritual being, but being a skeptic about so many things, I asked for proof. I told Jesus that if he was really who he said he was, I wanted him to send me a special feather. I heard about someone else doing this and it sounded good to me.
Well I waited for a couple of weeks with no feather to be found. When I asked, I was just told to be patient (a message I’m sent almost every day) Then I was told that I’d find a feather in Peterborough where I was going for a few days to visit my daughter. I was content to wait.
It was day three at my daughter’s house when I sat down on the couch and looked down and saw a very tiny white feather on the arm of the couch, maybe 1 cm (1/4 inch) long. I said “Thanks” to Jesus, “but is that the best you could do?” I must say I expected something a little grander from the so called Son of God. I must admit to being disappointed.
Shortly after I sat down, my daughter decided to lay on the floor so we could both stretch out on the couch to watch TV. She went and got a mattress pad from her closet and laid it and herself down on the floor. I was not paying much attention to what she was doing and did not know that this was a feather mattress pad and she had pulled a number of feathers out, placing them where I could not see them.
I just kept watching TV, ignoring both my daughter and the cat who had been laying down beside her. And then she told me to look at her cat. She had taken all of the feathers she had pulled out of the mattress and stuck them into the fur of her cat so that he looked like a chubby furry chicken with ears and whiskers. I laughed until I cried and I heard the sweet voice of Jesus asking if that was enough feathers for me.
This has totally shifted my thoughts about Jesus. To me, he is no longer this serious, scary person with the power to let me into heaven or send me to hell as I was taught. He’s full of fun and laughter and light. I know now that those in spirit touch us through laughter and I felt my heart open more than ever.
And I learned another valuable lesson that we do get what we ask for, but it is not always what we expect it to be.