Q. Dear Mother, I am asking a question about love and my heart is healing and I am taking the steps to heal my broken heart to create changes in my life and to prepare for a new partner that is a better match. I loved a man who taught me important lessons and I see the gift in my experience with him. I still love him and think of him often when will he be out of my thought process and I feel that I am taking the steps to let go and release him and I am working on forgiving him and myself. I want to be at peace with him and I still feel our connection and it hurts.
A. Dear child, it is time to let go of an expectation that you and many others hold at the current time. There is an expectation that Prince Charming will come along and when he arrives, you life will change for the best and you’ll live happily ever after. That is a story, not necessarily a truth.
In your culture, there is a myth that man and women are not complete unto themselves and that they need another to feel whole. While relationships are important and beneficial, they can also be quite painful, which you are aware of.
The depth of the pain is often a reflection of the depth of love that you feel. Just be aware that there is the possibility of this being a so called addictive love. If you just have the “fix” of being in a relationship, then everything feels better. And this is truth when things are going well.
But all relationships go through times of ups and down as you learn and grow together. This is truth for all but a few human relationships. And the pain as you call is often is a clue of the greatest lessons that you need to learn.
I know this has been repeated until you are sick of hearing it, but you cannot be in a truly loving relationship with another until you are in a truly loving relationship with yourself. And contrary to popular belief, another person cannot complete you and leave you feeling whole.
It is time to take a step back and examine what felt right about the relationship, and what felt painful. And from these lessons, look at what you need to do to heal your relationship with yourself. Then, your relationship with another will be very different.
Celebrate the pain for it is teaching you a great lesson about who you are as a person. Embracing the pain will cause it to evaporate; resisting it will cause it to continue to be.
Just continue on your journey of learning dear child and know that you have an opportunity to change your life for the better and as you make the necessary changes, you open yourself to a future fulfilling relationship.
Blessings, Mary, your divine mother