Q. I know that we often learn some of our greatest lessons through all of the challenges that we face, but why does it have to be this way? Why can’t we just have easy, peaceful lives without all of the pain and suffering?
A. There are so many lessons that you choose to learn while you are in human form and many of them can only be learned through contrast as that is how humans learn best, through understanding first what something is not and then learning what it is.
Think about how you learned about temperature. You learned about hot by experiencing hot. You learned about cold by experiencing cold. You learned that one temperature is really the absence of the other. You learned all of this through contrast. If you did not first know what hot was, you would not understand cold. You need to have something to compare it to for it to make sense to you.
You live in a world of duality at this time and this is how you learn the easiest based on how human brains work at this time. This is changing, but this is the situation for now.
You decided what your life lesson was going to be before you came into physical form. This is the case for all of you. Your reason for coming into human form is to learn what it is like to be human and you come into each incarnation with a plan for what you will learn.
If your main lesson while you are here is to learn about love, you are going to encounter situations that will teach you both what love is and what love is not, for it is not possible in a world of duality to know what something is, like hot, with out knowing what something is not, like cold.
So, if your main life lesson is love, you will most likely decide to get the more difficult part of this lesson out of the way first and be born into a life situation where you first learn what love is not – to learn the absence of love. You may be born into a family that is abusive or neglectful or just does not know how to express love to their children.
You will spend many years exploring all of the aspects of what love is not. And along the way as you journey through life, you begin to learn lessons of what love is by getting connected to people who can teach you what it is like to really feel loved, to learn in wholeness what love is.
You can judge this to be learning through situations that are bad or challenging and by learning through situations that are good and enjoyable, but what you have chosen to learn is the entire range of what love is and what love is not. This is the complete lesson about love.
What you will soon be able to do and what some of the new children who are coming in are able to do is to just be in a place of neutral, of complete acceptance of all that is, the oneness of the duality as you perceive it to be. You will let go of the judgment that you place on the experiences where they will no longer been seen as good or bad, but just as what it.
The only reason you experience the absence of love as bad or painful is because you judge the absence of love to be that way. The feelings that the absence of love generates in your body do not feel good to you and it is given the label bad. You are not actually labeling the experience as bad, but labeling the feeling that results from the situation as bad, for it is the feeling that you don’t like, not so much the experience itself.
For example, someone that you have felt love for decides to leave you and does not really explain why. Automatically, you may feel hurt, you feel a loss, you feel bad as you define it. It is not the actual situation of the person leaving that is the problem for you, but how you choose to feel about the situation. This loss is seen as a bad thing.
Now think about he same situation, but add in the fact that the person who you loved also had some habits that you really did not enjoy, like drinking too much, or being rude to other people, or even is controlling of what you do. Then, the fact that this person decides to leave and does not explain why may leave you feeling relieved, glad and even happy that they are no longer in your life. The same situation, but you have chosen to feel differently about the situation. This loss then becomes a good thing.
How you feel about every situation is dependent on how you process the information about the situation in your mind. This then results in feelings that you either call good or feelings that you call bad. It is not the situation that results in your emotional reaction, but your perception of the situation and the meaning that you give to it.
You will all have challenging situations throughout your lives. How you feel about them is truly up to you. If you can begin to see the situation itself as something neutral and accept that is you and how you process the situation in your mind which generates the feelings, you will realize that whatever happens in your life is neither good nor bad, it just is.
And remember too that there is a reason for each and every experience in your life. Everything that you encounter is the result of a decision that you made at some level, either to teach you something that you wanted to learn, or just for the pure adventure of having the experience.
It’s time to take ownership of your own life and be aware that everything that happens has a purpose, although you may or may not be aware of what that purpose is. And if you choose to, you can see each and every experience as just another learning experience to bring you closer to understanding the truth of who you are and what you came here in human form to learn.
When you look at your life in this way, your experience of how you feel shifts, for the situations are no longer good or bad, they are just part of the experience that you have chosen to experience to grow and to experience life in the fullest, to know both what something is and what is its not.
Blessings on your journey of discovery,
Mary, your divine mother.