One of my favorite saying is, “I finally got it all together and then I forgot where I put it.” That pretty well sums up my week so far.Last week, I had a really clear idea of where I was going with my work and then Sunday happened. I’m not sure what was going on, but I was exhausted and it lasted for 2 more days. I managed to dislocate my elbow in my sleep and have been so unsure about my connection to my spirit friends, what I really am supposed to do and all the enthusiasm and confidence I had just a few days ago seemed to disappear.
Someone told me about an energy download on Sunday which would explain some of this challenge and I’ve heard from a few others that they have had a few rough days, so I expect that part of my experience is related to one more energy adjustment that can have interesting effects. But this feels bigger than that.
The Lady of the Sun suggested that it was time for me to begin to answer personal questions that people have using my intuition and connection to my spirit friends and I ended up so confused about what to do and where to start that I spent yesterday being miserable and not getting anything done. Where did my confidence go????
It’s no surprise that even thinking about this would trigger doubt, after all my core life lesson is trust, learning to trust myself, learning to trust others and learning to trust God, including my spirit friends. Doubt has been a constant companion for many years but I have been doing so much better at ignoring that Doubt voice in my head that says, “Be careful what you do. You don’t want to take any risks. You don’t know what will happen. It’s better to just do nothing rather than risk being hurt.”
It is Doubt that has returned this week which is really just a polite way of saying I’m #%@*& scared. And when I get that scared, I stop doing anything and just hide once again where I feel safe and secure. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be all that I can be. I want to do the work I came here to do and to shine brightly.
So I’ve chosen to keep moving forward towards doing my work. What I’m here to do is really clear to me. I have many different projects that I’ve started just waiting for completion, but I always seem to hit that wall – when I get to the point where I put my work out there for others to see – Whack – Doubt smacks me in the face and I run away and do something else. It’s the cowards way – retreating and hiding. I’ve done this all of my life and I’m choosing to do things differently. It just feels so scary.
I pulled an oracle card yesterday after asking for help and the card’s message was to ask for help whenever you need it. Duh!!! So that’s what I’m learning to do. Whenever Doubt comes knocking, I ask for help and them watch for the messages that come. And today I’ve had a series of small messages coming in different forms, reminding me that I am not alone, I am on track, that I have plenty of support and that the risk exists only in my mind, not in reality.
Another lessons learned, and I’m getting back on track today. I still feel scared, but am reminded of another favorite saying, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” One foot in front of the other.
Gotta go, I’ve got some work to do…..