I’ve known for some time that part of the work I am to be doing is to act as the messenger for the lady of the sun and other spirit beings to help others on their spiritual journey. I have been sooooooo resistant to do this work. The other day I finally understood why this was so scary for me. It’s like a light bulb got turned on in my mind.
I’ve had the ability to channel for almost 20 years and have kept this hidden from all but a select few people, like you, for most of that time. 20 years ago before the internet allowed me to connect to others with this ability, I only had met 2 other people who could do this. While I accepted that this was okay for others, I still saw myself as crazy because of this gift.
I did participate in a group many years ago where I shared channeled messages and I did work with individuals on and off for about 2 years, but then I shut the gift down and went into hiding while I worked in the mental health system where hearing voices in your head was something to be medicated away – and – it was considered very abnormal.
Since I’ve been off work and began exploring what I would do in the future, I’ve had a pretty constant connection with a variety of spirit friends like Mother Mary and more recently the lady of the sun. And for over a year they have been encouraging me to be their messenger by sharing the information that they give to me with others.
I have been getting personal messages for myself often over the past year and the information has been so helpful to me. It’s been a challenging year and having a spirit friend to go to for advise and support has been extremely helpful. And I kept being nudged to help others by giving them messages from these loving beings, but every time I got close to doing this – the panic would set in and I’d stop and go back into hiding.
Starting this blog was a major accomplishment for me. It allowed me to do the work I was being guided to do, but in a safe and rather anonymous way. I knew that the people who were drawn to my writings were guided there and they were far enough away from me that they could not throw rotten tomatoes or yell rude things. It was a risk I reluctantly took and outside of a few comment that I took as criticism, nothing terrible has happened to me.
But still the fear. It just never went away.
Over the past year, I worked with a variety of counsellors, intuitive readers and even a woman who did shamanic journeys with me, but the fear persisted. I discovered a lot about myself and grew and changed a lot, so I’m glad I did this work but it was never enough to get me to the point where I felt comfortable being open about the gift of channeling, especially when it came to giving personal messages to others.
Well, the other day, I finally understood the remaining block that had me paralyzed. I have a self help tool that I use to identify the blocks that keep me stuck and after praying for help the other day, I was guided to do this work with myself to figure out what was going on.
What I discovered kind of surprised me. It was an event that happened when I was about 7 that had me stopped in my tracks. I developed a fear after a traumatic experience at school that was keeping me from moving forward with the work I am here to do.
I did some healing work with the little girl in me who was so traumatized by a teacher and since then the fear is going away. I still feel some hesitation with moving forward, but it has shifted from panic to discomfort, something I can live with.
This experience reminded me of the value of this process that I learned years ago and adapted to work well for me. I know that this is something else I need to be teaching people to do, to get over those seemingly little events of the past that can still cause us to be stopped in our tracks.
Well with this new awareness and the support of my spirit friends, I am going ahead with the work I have come here to do, helping others to move out of fear and into the light.
So stay tuned….. I will soon be offering free personal mini readings…..