Thanks everyone for responding to the survey in the previous post. And if you have not given your input, I’d appreciate your help. I’m trying to decide topics to start with in my new work.
I caught my self in an old familiar behavior last week – sabotage. This seems to kick in whenever I get close to making a major change in my life. I get scared and without consciously thinking about it, I start to do things that make it impossible for me to move forward with my plans.
I don’t usually catch this so quickly, but I am making an effort to be more conscious whenever I hear myself making an excuse for why I can’t do something. This is a clue that once again, I am sabotaging my success.
I was moving ahead quickly with getting my website done and business started. I was focused and doing well when some old habits started happening. It started by not ordering my herbs that I’ve been taking that are moving me out of 20+ years of depression. Then I started skipping days of taking herbs and the medication that I still need to feel well. And most of my self care efforts were put aside. My excuse was that I needed the time to work on my business.
But that is not really the truth. The truth is that I was feeling well and doing well and it was so unfamiliar. Being well means that I can move into helping people and out of my comfort zone of having few responsibilities.
Not taking care of myself had me slipping back into feeling unenthusiastic and tired and of course, unable to move forward with my work. I was protecting myself as I have done so often, by slipping slowly back into illness.
But this time it was different. I realized what I was doing and took 100% responsibility for what was happening. I forced myself to get back on track and do whatever it takes to be well.
My guiding words these days are – “one foot in front of the other” and “just do it”, the strategy that is helping me get past the excuses that limit what I do each day.
And, I’m back to starting my day with this simple prayer, ” I ask and co-create a clear vision of my highest path today. Please show me the road signs and help me walk in faith.” I ask for guidance and watch for the signs which always come.
I’m getting back on track today and plan to get some messages written and posted this week.
Until then…..
Spiritspeaksblog 
Sheryl,
Good for you for recognizing this old pattern quickly and reversing course! That’s what really counts 🙂 .
Thanks for sharing my friend!! I read somewhere these days that yesterday there would be another strong influx of energy, and with those always comes the release of old patterns and much comes to the surface. For me it was no exception lol. I can identify those patterns that make me put excuses and feel bad again.
So I am trying to do exactly what you say, try to force myself into doing things, otherwise I could lay on bed feeling bad eternally.
I think you are doing great. It is not easy to deal with depression and other things. We do what we can after all, and at times it can be demotivating to fall again into the feelings of self-sabotage, but we have enough tools, and there will come the day soon when we will really start to feel better, permanently.
Much love